If I pose this all as a question to myself it would say, "Do I wish I'd known sooner?" And I'd answer that I don't think we were strong enough together at that point to have survived this. We hadn't fully transitioned from a bundle of hormones to a strong bond through time and shared experiences. Even after finding out over 2 years in, after all the reading I did after D day 1... Nothing could prepare me for the reality of this path. The relapse, the trauma, the depth of his addictions and discovering all his secrets. In the end though, what's important, is his commitment and determination to overcome this is even greater than yours. We can't do the work for them no matter how hard we try to help. Best of luck