“Mortal soul! You must choose a Covenant to serve for eternity.”
“The Shadowlands are infinite, aren’t they?”
“…Yes, but you’re saying I can only serve ONE of FOUR Covenants based in their respective realms.”
“Yes.”
“Why can’t I just go to one of the other infinite realms instead of getting voluntarily brainwashed, being a critter or mulch, or spending eternity in zombie Fight Club, or torturing the shit out of ghosts for red juice—“
“KYRIAN, TOSS THIS ONE INTO THE MAW!”
(Surprised Pikachu Face)
“WELCOME TO THE MAW, ASSHOLE. WE’RE GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU TO MAKE ROCKS FROM YOUR SUFFERING. DID I MENTION THIS WAS FREEDOM?”