In last few months, I have noticed his everyday living style and things such as over sleeping, not wanting to do things, always being tired, not cleaning, not cooking, not showering, procrastinating house chores, procrastinating paper work etc ...are big concerns for me. He is also ignorant towards how loud he is sometimes. I also found him very self focused and ignores his shortcomings to feel better instead of working on them.

He will reply with 1 line and basically shut down. He thinks that if he opens up I will judge him as DISABLE. He over Criticize himself in almost every area and I have started to feel exhausted in reassuring him every single time. Even if I praise him or anyone praises him, he thinks we are just keeping his heart and brushes it off.

He shutting me down even after 4 months of dating is a red flag. Not addressing my concerns and just saying that he will handle is my concern. We also have bedroom issues and they are related to the meds he is taking.

I copied what you said. There are many red flags. Maybe he’ll be able to manage his depression and adhd in the near future, but it doesn’t look like he is doing that right now.