It is not just the cat-calling (which, when you are 13 years old and some homeless hobo touches you "randomly" at bus station is really not great and you have no idea what to do) but that, constant *neverending* patronizing from men. It happened to me even from some of my best friends, who still feel the need to explain things and, they have to go to convince themselves that what I was saying, was, in fact, true. Like when I say "the door is locked" and they go and have to try it that is *really* locked and I look stupid that I don ´t recognize locked door. (this exact example with door happened to me several times).
That talking to me as to the little child, even by men who are at the same level (work wise) as me....
I felt so unpleasant at my best friend´s wedding. I was a witness and her husband works at company that makes parts for planes. I work at logistics ( working with a lots documents, mostly freight) and I am not going to pretend to understand a first thing about how to *make* planes. But I do understand air logistics because, daha, I work there (I know the package types, plane types etc.). And I made a joke I thought he could understand (not my friend´s husband but some friend who was there at the wedding) (comparing two types of packages). He went on giving me a lecture and the *tone* he was talking to me, that smug smile like I am a stupid school girl....can you imagine how it makes your blood boil? How humiliating it is? How hard it is to control that anger and not to straight send him to hell....because you are in some company AND wedding so you don´t want to make a scene? And when...once in 6 years, you lose that, it is, of course, at the wrong time, wrong place and everybody just thinks you are overreacting and are hysterical.
While the guy directly diminishes my ability to do my work (which I have been doing for 10 years and I dare to say, I am good at) and has this patronizing, annoying tone in his voice, where he says "This is too difficult for your little head to understand", I have to keep it cool and pretend he just didn´t say that and even laugh because the others are laughing as well.
Or, when I was in the pub with guys from school back then and one of the friends of one of my class mates (who was not even a friend), came back from behind and put hands on my breasts. Just like that. I had no idea who he was but the others laughed so I did as well because you don´t want to be the uptight, hysterical girl who hates men (even those totally unknown). This may be an overraction but at that point, how does he know - when he does this - that the girl he is about to "jokingly" touch like that was not raped a year ago and has to struggle to only go out with friends? Or was not abused as a child? Or has another trauma? How would he like if you would go to him and touched his intimate places just like that? Would he like it?
So, however I understand the confict here, and it may have not been put well, trust me, woman has to struggle *every single day* with this type of anger. Not to yell and scream and say "I am not five, you know?"
It gets better with time, when you are surrounded by people (friends and colleagues) who are mature enough or respect you enough to stop doing it (mostly already younger colleagues) but it still happens from time to time from others.