it's a sad world when we treat our elderly pets with more dignity in passing than other humans. i mean, ideally it should be both. I had to see my grandmother slowly decay from ALZ, and I know she would've wanted something other than her loved ones to see her in that condition. she was suffering so much, had no quality of life at all. I wish there was a better understanding in general that there are fates worse than death. protocols to let someone go gently when they aren't really living anymore. the cases where people are left to decay in hospital beds until the very last moment of life are just the worst. I'm sorry you have to face this firsthand.

at least my grandmother passed suddenly and peacefully when she went. it was just the long, slow march toward it that was unbearable for all of us. she said to more than one of us in moments of seeming lucidity, "I want to die." then she would go back into world salad. I wish we could have fulfilled her wish somehow.

I used to be terrified of relatives dying suddenly, I mean, I still am. it's a really sad reality. but now I think I'd rather that, than seeing any of them go slowly like she did. and any patient who is not going to recover or have any foreseeable QOL after a resuscitation should be given a DNR. I feel like that would be fair.

tldr: I witnessed a fraction of what you all do and part of me died inside. I'm sorry the world is like this.