Shit is about to hit the fan, been exposed, forced to come clean to wife - need all the advice i can get

I've done IPO once, 3 residential inpatient treatments of which 2 of them were 90 days and the 3rd was a 45 day relapse track which after i lived in a sober living house for 9 months and went to aftercare and a meeting a day. I've been able to sting together a year here and a year there but ultimately at some point i guess i get complacent and stop doing what i need to do and then a situation arises where i don't have a sufficient defense to say no.

i inject something mind altering, anything, even if it is not my DOC that it's a matter of time until i'm back off to the races of full on addiction. I know total abstinence is the only thing that will work for me and when i was working a 12 step program and super involved it did work for me even though i have some issues with some facets of those programs.

I really don't want to hurt my wife and parents and kids and at this point have the willingness to do anything and accept that i obviously don't know how to maintain long-term sobriety and need to take some serious suggestions. I met a 33 year old H addict with 7 years sober last night who was very cool and that i can really relate to. He was not one of those shove it down your throat guys, just a dude who can provide experience, strength and hope of what works for him. He said he would sponsor me and we are meeting for lunch today to start.

I'm also seriously considering giving Ibogaine a shot, but i want to talk to a few that have done that before. I know there is no magic solution, but i'm wiling to use any tool that can help.

At lease i am not tossed from the home and as far as the kids know they still live in a safe and stable home with both parents. Thanks to everyone for the feedback and comments. Nothing helps more than hearing from other addicts that understand what goes on in our crazy minds.

/r/opiates Thread Parent