Oooof the "you know what you did"- trip line. Honestly I still expect it anytime anyone I know and run into seems agitated, even if there's no way it's with me. No normal human outside my parents has ever actually expected me to guess read why they were upset. Sure, some people are a bit passive-aggressive, but they usually end up using words, like you mention.

I'd definitely agree my mom had no idea why she was actually mad and I suspect it was just her response to feeling not in complete control. I don't think she did it to people beyond our immediate family. She definitely took obvious joy in us crying and trying to apologize before she could tell our dad. There was a whole theatrical process to our "you know what you did!"

My E/N dad, after my mother accused us of whatever, used to call my brothers and I down from our rooms where we hid when we were home to where ever he and my mother were and we'd have to guess/confess in front of everyone in the family what we did wrong, which usually involved getting the guess wrong a few times because it was not usually clear what the transgression was, which resulted in being told we were either stupid or giving lip and an increased punishment (extra hours of moving rocks, forced to quit school activities, wear notes pinned to shirt so thing could not be forgotten again, biting through a bar of soap instead of just liquid soap on your toothbrush, etc). If another sibling was involved and perhaps the person we had wronged, they'd have to make up the punishment or even help administer it (hold the soap bar, whatever). And then we'd get a nice "when I was kid my drunk dad would do x and what's happening to you isn't that bad so punishing you hurts me more than it hurts you" and be forced to give a conciliatory hug and say we sorry and that we loved each parent and that we wouldn't try to hide what we'd done next time and would fess up right away.

The kicker is that both my parents are tea-totallers, so they were totally sober for their fuckery.