If I see another one of those mother fucking god damned "Montage Parodies" linked on Reddit, or see any more references to that cancer, I swear I'll vote Hillary just to spite you little bastards. Have you all gone fucking insane? Spewing autistical bullshit like "Shreck is love, Shreck is life" and "Oh baby a triple" does not pay the fucking bills you little bitches. For your information I served in the US Armed Forces in 2004, back when we had a Republican in office (Dubya for all you millennials). After getting kicked out of boot camp for inscribing a passage from The God Delusion in a stall, I went home in a huff and discussed my plans for voting Kerry over MSN with my buddy M. A. Larson (only 90's kids will understand). While I fought fiercely in Iraq (they let me skip boot camp after I pulled the ol' reddit switcheroo by claiming I possessed the blueprints of Bin Laden's house when in reality they were those of my ex's) I didn't watch my buddy and friend-in-arms Tyrone "Mothafucka" Bo Jangles (he's black, I have lots of black friends) take a mortar shrapnel to the knee just to see crap like that spewed on Reddit, where dank memes and liberal ideologies once existed in perfect harmony. I woke up this morning to browse Reddit early before heading off to work (a daily tradition since 2010, the year I realized Reddit was the best site on the net thanks to the highly whimsical "when does the narwhal bacon" meme) and was appalled when I saw an image of this "Mister Skeletal" motherfucker as a reply to a dank joke about how Lamborghinis cost an arm and a leg in a comment under the (faked according to Bill Nye & Neil "Black Science Man" Tyson) PP video, which appropriately frontpaged on /r/politics. My liberal gas tank was running on fumes after work, so thank Sanders I'd stumbled upon that echo chamber where it'd be nearly filled after reading the dank replies to the downvoted posts, but tragically all the fuel was siphoned when I saw that bony motherfucker. I cringed so hard at that stupid comment I had to go to /r/eyebleach to see some images of half-naked women to cleanse my brain of that "if you 'up-doot' in ten seconds you'll be blessed with good calcium" crap. I even saw a reply which claimed it was "three spooky five me", fucker's probably never been to /r/creepy. If this Skeletal junk is actually not just bullshit superstition, why hasn't my spine turned to liquid by now? Won't my neck turn to rubber? Thanks to my degree in Atheism at Oxford University I can infer that my head would fall right off my fucking neck and land on my keybo0=09poi[p';lk;'lnm/,mmmmmmnnnnnnnn////////////////////////////////////////
Edit: I'm typing this in the hospital...do not make the mistake I made...praise mr skeltal...and dank you mr sanders for free healthcare so i can live to browse another meme