This is a big issue. You must see a marriage therapist and then a financial advisor. You guys are playing the “What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is yours” game and it’s not healthy. It honestly pisses me off, and I know I have zero knowledge of y’all’s relationship, but if there’s two things that should always be open in a relationship? It’s emotions and finances. - Emotions, so that you understand each others feelings and don’t murder each other. - Finances, so that y’all set yourselves up for a successful financial future and have a roof over y’all’s head. 100k in student loans for a 100k annual salary is a terrible ROI, but it’s something that needs to be paid off. Here is a quick quote from studentaid.gov and what happens if y’all stop making payments altogether: “If you don’t make your student loan payment or you make your payment late, your loan may eventually go into default. If you default on your student loan, that status will be reported to national credit reporting agencies. This reporting may damage your credit rating and future borrowing ability. Also, the government can collect on your loans by taking funds from your wages, tax refunds, and other government payments.”
This is if you had Federal loans and stopped paying altogether. Private loans like Sallie Mae are worse, much worse. Sure, the debt might drop off in the future, but you won’t even be able to get a loan for a pencil let alone a car because of how bad your credit score will be. This is hypothetical of course, but now let’s talk about interest.
If your husband has Federal loans, they could be as high as 8%. If your husband has Private loans, they could be as high as 20%. 100k is no small number. That is a mortgage. Let’s see how much interest you will pay for Federal and Private loans at the max interest rate just paying the monthly minimum payment for a 10 year loan.
100k in unsubsidized Federal loans at 8% interest with 10 year loan term @ monthly minimum payment = $45,593 in internet ON TOP of the original 100k. Total Repayment: $145,593
100k in unsubsidized Private loans at 20% interest with 10 year loan term @ monthly minimum payment = $131,907 in interest ON TOP of the original 100k. Total Repayment: $232,907
This is the worse case scenario, but could you imagine having an extra $45,593 or $132,907 laying around in the next 10 years? That will cover more than enough of your child’s 529 at a public university and help you with whatever other expenses you might have in the next 10 years. This debt MUST be repaid, and your husband needs to come clean with his spending habits or y’all will always have an unhealthy relationship associated with money. These are my thoughts and opinions, but y’all need to sit down and talk it through. Audit y’all’s finances and make a plan together. If y’all can’t do that? Then there are some much bigger issues. I wish you luck!