Hi OP , I've struggled with crippling depression and was on the verge of killing myself 2 years ago , just wanna say seek help or at least speak to your friends who you trust

I surrounded myself with people who make me happy and also started using music as a form of therapy as music helps to increase dopamine and serotonins

Im attaching a bunch of quotes which I see everyday to go on , have a look at them and you're gonna get through this , remember there's always a light at the end of every dark tunnel

quotes :

• Anything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for. - Joseph, Catch 22
• We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars - Oscar Wilde
• "Death doesn't stop depression, it just spreads it to somebody else.
• Whenever I'm having a particularly bad day where everything seems to go wrong, I tell myself that I only have to live today once.
• "Tomorrow might not be better, but it will be different"
• “When you feel sad, it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Everyone has those days when you doubt yourself, and when you feel like everything you do sucks, but then there’s those days when you feel like Superman. It’s just the balance of the world. ” – Mac Miller
• If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. - Robin Williams
• 'That mountain you've been carrying, you were only suppose to climb'
  Stay strong OP you got this