It's a world of craziness out there, man. You hit it on the head when you said you're not going to commit because of it. So fucking nuts how real almost everything here is. Even after being on this site 2 months, I still can't get over it when someone comes along and says what you just did. Because I think I am alone in my thinking sometimes. There isn't many posts that really get into the depressing parts, and that's good.... There shouldn't be. I mean I had most of it figured out anyway before TRP, but not in the way it's broken down here. Right in my face, just read another line. Puzzle piece after puzzle piece just snapped together to lead me to today, where I actually don't care or expect anything at all and probably could get along fine the rest of my life with this exact attitude. I found out if I keep my mouth shut and stop pretending to not want something and actually just don't care if I get it or not because of the hunk of confused brain it's attached to, my life is going to be much easier. So that's what I set out to do and what I am doing.

It's really insane how backwards it all is. It's actually incredibly saddening when I think about it in depth. Not just for men of TRP who really really know, but for woman to. I get brought back to the depression stage, this time without the anger thank god. When it comes to woman the less you want it, the more you get it. I'm am accidentally bathing in pussy right now and have 40 girls texting me. I don't even have time to respond. I make it pretty fucking obvious all I want is sex from the get go when I do and they seem fine. Once and a while I get a line like, "I don't do sex unless I'm in a relationship or if I am dating someone." Then we usually fuck the first or second night and they leave. It's pathetic on their end. But honestly, I'm happy. I'm happy because I'd rather be a free man alone with this knowledge, than a prisoner with others without it.