Siblings of Sociopaths or Narcissists, when did you realize your sibling wasn't normal?

My boyfriends brother is... Something. I don't know if it's pathological but I have never met such as asshole. He's 30 and acts like a 14 year old brat.

Whenever he visits and someone asks him to do something he whines and complains that he shouldn't have to because he's a "guest" (in his mothers home). Meanwhile, he will ask everyone else to do the most mundane shit for him- like pour him a cup of coffee from 10 feet away and bring it to him, and then bitch, moan, and insult until someone does it.

He forces his will on everyone and will makes everyone to adhere to his daily schedule, being there and doing things at his convenience. Yet, 90% of the time when you make plans with him he will cancel last minute in favor of smoking weed with his friends or watching a movie at home, which he will admit, and not understand why cancelling hurts your feelings/inconveniences you. Maybe he just doesn't care. He usually comes to visit my boyfriend and his mother under the guise of "I miss you, let's hang out," but it's always the same story: make plans to hang, suddenly he has disappeared at time of plans, get a text hour later "sorry bro just heard from (friend), be back later," stumbles in and passes out at 1am, and then is too tired to Jan the next day, and then has too much work to make up to hang out at all. I feel bad for my boyfriend who for some reason desperately wants a relationship with his brother.

He is rich as hell, but persistently asks for money from his mother so he doesn't have to spend his own, and gets upset when she says no. He has destroyed his own credit by being irresponsible, and recently needed to open up a new credit card and had to have his mom cosign. She made him promise to be responsible and keep track of his finances- and even offered to help him. In less than 6 days he wracked up $15,000 in debt, destroyed his mothers credit, and then called his mother crazy when she got upset and asked him not to visit anymore. He said she was being ridiculous and came to visit anyway.

So he's here now. The house is tense. His car battery suddenly died so of course he asked his mom to take a day off from work so she could come home take care of it, and to call him a cab so he could go get coffee with his friends. She just lost it.

I feel so bad for her and my boyfriend, but in a way I feel his behavior was learned.

/r/AskReddit Thread