I reccomend the plastic incandescent (2) D-cell flashlight that you get free when you buy an 8-pack of batteries at Sears and Roebuck. Here's why it's the best: Open it up. Inside is a little piece of copper that acts as a spring. It's attached to the switch slider on the outside, and bent on the inside to keep the slider in place. Use needle nose pliers to reach in and compress the spring. It will now fit through the hole and the slider will come off. Enlarge the hole with a 3/4" spade bit. Snap in a rubber grommet. Drill another hole into the center of the lens. Snap in another grommet. Into the middle of the light where the batteries would go, put mouthpieces from a trumpet and trombone, (You don't have those. Just improvise something.) a screen, and an eighth of really sticky pot. Screw the top on the light. Put it in your glove box. If a copper sees it, he's not thinking bong, he's thinking "responsible motorist carries emergency light". Now go to college football game. Preferably not SEC. SEC sucks PAC-12 balls. When you get the pat down by security, they won't be thinking bong, they'll be thinking "smart dude brought a flashlight to navigate the parking lot after the game when it's dark". Find your seat. Open light, retrieve parts, assemble bong, add water, smoke up.

Bonus: you have some of those fat magic markers, whiteboard pens, and highlighters, right? When they stop writing, don't throw them away. Use a pair of pliers to pull the wick out. With the caps fom both ends removed, run them through the dishwasher. Put the cap on the writing end, then from the bottom, fill with tequila or rum (gin if you're an SEC pussy). Snap bottom cap back on. Stick a few of those in your shirt pocket. Security won't look twice. Probably just think you're an art nerd. Enjoy shots at the game. You can use an extra pen for your extasy tabs, LSD, or you can even fit in a good dose of dried psilocybin mushrooms. Don't forget, share with the people around you. That's the Hippie Code.