As a dude who'll never have kids I still feel torn about maternity leave. I support it, but I also resent that I don't get tons of paid time off from work like they do. I mean, my labor covers for these women when they're gone, my work helps contribute to the money they get, and yet I never, ever get to enjoy the same privilege. I think I should get some kind of "child free" bonus, as a thank you for not having a baby and always being available for work.

Oh, and don't come here telling me that "having kids isn't a vacation!" bullshit. Saying that implies it wasn't your choice to have kids, and that you didn't want them. You did. You wanted kids, you love your kids, and spending time with them makes you happy (long term anyway). So no, it's not fucking "work" to raise kids, it's a joy, a joy you chose for yourself, so don't you fucking dare whine as though taking care of the family you love is anywhere near the same as going to the fucking office.