This will assess you for victim mentality.
If you scored over 5 (pay attention, scoring is really odd, goes from -16 to 16), then this advice applies to you. If you scored less, then you can discard it.
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That's not the problem. The problem is that when you feel like a victim, you end up stuck. Really bad things happen to people that continue with this way of thinking.
You are trying to find external validation for your own victimization. Nothing good will come from that. It is better for a human to sometimes shrug and move on, then to dwell on the fact of how unfair the universe is. Because if you give in to that, you will do that over, and over and over.
Then you will become depressed, that's also not your fault. Who knows what comes after that. And that also will not be your fault.
It is better to find fault in yourself (even when it probably wasn't) than to take on a victim role, because considering yourself a victim of circumstances places the blame outside yourself, so you don't have to try and improve. It wasn't your fault after all.
What is worse, most people fundamentally understand this principle. They might not be able to verbalize it as well as I can, but they know what you are doing and they know it is bad for them, because depressions are contagious. Your negative attitude can make those around you sick. They know that you are on the wrong track, even though they might not be able to tell you why exactly. Go down the road you are currently going down and you'll find everyone you approach, will turn away from you. It's a self fulfilling nightmare. The more you feel like a victim, the more you will be a a victim.
It is a flaw in the human mind. Don't exploit it, you don't know how bad you can end up if you go down that route, but I do. And it's really, really sad what happens to people that do this.
Highest rated books on this topic:
Here's a simple test that will help you determine if you're possibly depressed (you get the answer directly and it doesn't take more than 5 minutes to take). I wouldn't worry too much about it if you score under 22 (though you might have a mild depression if you've had those symptoms for a long period of time). Answer how you've felt in the last week. If you've tested over 22, it's probably time to take it more seriously.
If you still have doubts, here's a list of symptoms associated with depression. See for yourself if they apply to you or not.
If you have healthcare insurance, then go see your doctor and ask for a referral. I'm not specialized in depressions and neither is anyone else here. We mean well, but we can't be a replacement of a specialist that has trained for years to help you with exactly this. I'd recommend either a psychotherapy or CBT(how to decide) specialized psychologist first (that's someone that tries to talk the problem away). If that doesn't start working after a few months, or you don't think you have any issues to talk about, or you already tried a therapist, then find a psychiatrist (that's someone that will give you pills to solve the issue).
If you don't have healthcare insurance or you want more help, that's not the ideal situation. Going to a specialist would be preferably, but if that's just not possible, or it's just not helping (enough), then here's a list of things that will very likely help. I suggest you apply as many of them as you can all at once.
Keep in mind that often (but not always) there is an underlying cause for your depression. You might not like yourself or aspects of your life. The below advice addresses the symptoms and can reduce them, but if you don't address the causes, it's not likely to go away.
For all of the below advice, use technology to your advantage. Take your phone and set repeating alarm clock reminders, with labels of what to do. Train yourself to either snooze or reschedule the reminders if you can't take action right away, but never to ignore them. The intention is to condition yourself, to build habits, so you will start healing yourself without having to think about it.
Sleep: There is a complex relationship between sleep and depression.
Go outside: If you haven't been outside much lately, you might just need some sunlight.
Meditate: Depressions can be significantly reduced by meditating. The best types Of Meditations For Depression Relief.
Exercise: The effect of exercise on depressions
You are not your depression: For some people (often those that have been depressed for a long time), their depression has become a part of who they are and they assume a victim role. But that is a big problem, you have to will yourself into someone that sees themselves as a person that is actively fighting their disease, that no longer identifies with it, or else you will unconsciously obstruct your own healing process. As Eckhart Tolle expressed it in A New Earth (note that this is an internal process, how you view yourself, not how others view you):
A very common role is the one of victim, and the form of attention it seeks is sympathy or pity or others' interest in my problems, "me and my story." Seeing oneself as a victim is an element in many egoic patterns, such as complaining, being offended, outraged, and so on. Of course, once I am identified with a story in which I assigned myself the role of victim, I don't want it to end, and so, as every therapist knows, the ego does not want an end to its "problems" because they are part of its identity.
Jordan Peterson: How To Deal With Depression (50 minutes). Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist, that's specialized in mythology. This is a compilation of several of his lectures focusing specifically on depression (if this resonates, let me know what you need: I can give advice on motivation, purpose, dating, or friends).
Books: These are the highest rated self help books for depression:
Phone Apps: Two popular free apps commonly used that help fighting depressions, are Wysa and MoodTools. These will track your mood, give you advice or even listen to your problems. The most popular meditation app is: Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
I suspect you are having self esteem issues.
The first step would be to try and confirm that, so we know if you should take a closer look or not. One of the most commonly tools used to asses your self esteem is called the "Rosenberg self-esteem scale". This test will take less than 5 minutes and will immediately give you the results. You should answer quickly and without overthinking the answers. If you scored above 15, then you likely don't have self esteem issues and you can probably disregard the rest of this answer. If you scored below 15 or you already know for sure you have self esteem issues, keep reading.
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