OP I'm sorry that you've gotten a lot of bad advice. Firstly, let me say, that you sound like a great parent, and you're handling this great. I think the best thing you could do is probably reach out to the gay community which would probably have all of the information you need to give to him about having safe sex. About the age gap despite what some people on here think it's NOT THAT BAD I mean for crying out loud a gap of 5 years does not make someone a pedophilie. I wouldn't call the developmental gap between a 14 year old and an 18 year old that huge, either. Boys take a lot longer to mature than girls. I would be concerned about them being sexually active due to your son being underage, but I think the age of consent laws in some American states are ridiculous. I mean 18 really? That's insanely stupid. Once your child is having sex it's a lot like a horse fleeing a barn. It's already out. It would be impossible to stop it from happening so the best thing is to try and control it. No more going out without letting you know where he is going. Let them have sleep overs at your house. If they're going to do it it might as well be under your roof. Talk to this boy and let him know the risks of having a relationship with a person under the age of consent. I would try and encourage them to slow things down if I could simply because I would wait for that young man to have his life ruined for simply being intimate with a younger partnter. I think the laws surrounding consent are too strict and very flawed sometimes. I don't think a teenager should be charged for being intimate with someone a few years his minor. It would be a different story if it were a 25 year old with a 14 year old. You should support your child and his relationship, get to know the boy, be honest with him about things, but also put down rules. If he wants to be taken seriously he has to act like an adult and respect you. The last thing I would recommend would be to report this young man to the police. It would ruin his life and people like him do not deserve to be labelled as sex offenders just for having younger partners and lacking a little bit of common sense. The sex offender list should be for actual predators not horny teenagers, kids who sext, or people who take a whiz in the park.