There is no shame in being a good mother. There is no shame in showing up every single day for your kids. They are your family. They love you. These two people are going to be closer than best friends to you for the rest of your life. These two people will bury you in the ground and it will crush them when you are gone. You just keep showing up every day. You just pick yourself up and you start by saying I am strong and I'm going to handle this. I got this. And when you walk into the court room or respond you tell the judge. I am strong. I got this. I got this on my own. These are my children and I am putting my all into them. Take care of yourself. Sleep. Eat. Vitimins exersize destress. Enlist your family to help. Say look. I know i am not married but i am a mom and im showing up every day for my kids. Yes it is shameful the man who i had children with does not show up. But i am here and i have no shame in being here as a mom. I will do my best. And if you believe we have a good family than show that you are good to your family by loving the children. Tell them you are not in a good place right now to marry but you hope to raise the kids and then find love when you have time because right now you can't even take care of yourself.

Dont involve your family in the legal drama. You will just be in bedt right now. You have 2 little kids it happens. These years will go fast. They will grow and you will have many years after to repair tension with your family get better jobs to pay down debts. You will come out the other side of the legal battle ok and together. If you are being a good mom they will not separate you. You will be ok. In time. Let all that stuff be secondary to keeping yourself and your kids happy and healthy. Thats all you have time for right now. You can worry how your neighbors feel later. Dont pretend you are married that shame belongs on him you are there being a good mom. And in time you will find your own way and youself if you can find your stregnth.