Single Redditors, why do you think you are single?

I'm realizing this now. I never went out so I never met girls. That was fine with me for awhile, but I wanted a change. At 22 years old, I decided to make a Tinder. It took less than a day and I matched with the girl of my dreams. Into the same things, she's funny, she's cute and nice. We decided to meet up and it went great. I was incredibly nervous at first but I'm super comfortable around her now.

It's been two weeks and I feel zero attachment. In fact, I kind of dread seeing her again. I don't know what my problem is. She's literally a perfect match for me, but I have zero interest in pursuing her any further. What the hell is wrong with me?

Something that just came to me typing this out was, maybe I wanted a real change. Having a girl in my life that I fool around with is a change, sure, but maybe not the change I'm searching for. Part of me suddenly believes I want someone who is so radically different from me that it changes who I am.

It sounds so incredibly fucked but I hate myself and being anyone but me would be an improvement. I've got great friends and family who care about me and think I'm a fun guy to be around and this great girl is just becoming a part of that group; it isn't helping me at all. They don't see how much I hate being me and how much I dislike myself. I can't even tell anyone this because I have no clue how to put it into words.

I don't want to die or anything, but I wish I could press a big reset button and redo my entire fucking life. I'm successful, I'm attractive, I'm social, I don't have a single fucking thing to complain about and yet, I drastically want to leave my current life behind and literally do anything else. I want to be free.

I feel like ever since I was born it's been, go to school, go to college, get a job. When the fuck did that become normal? When did going to work for eight hours a day become a normal thing to do for around 45 years? Fuck that, I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that, and we've all become so greedy and competitive it's getting harder for everybody, we're slaves to it and there's no light at the end of the tunnel.

But what can I do? Jack shit. I can't impact the world. I can't even make lasting impacts with my own life. I'm going to die in probably around 60 years and 200 years after that, either no one is going to remember me or my great-great-great-grandkids will be making fun of my archived facebook pictures.

If my life is meaningless, and I'm pretty damn sure it is, why am I even bothering in the first place? It's a lot of effort to stay alive, it'd be easier if I were dead. Luckily for those who care about me, offing myself is the last thing I want to do, because I have some glimmer of hope that maybe someday, there will be a change. I don't know what I want, but I want a big change.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that although I have no idea what I want, I have fairly high expectations of a potential partner.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent