Thanks for your reply. I'm not trying to downplay her own trauma but I'm glad that in some ways I think her younger age actually somewhat was a protective force. She doesn't have the memories I do.

My mom is not at all excited about the whole thing and I would say is both anxious and stressed. She has expressed her disappointment at both my sister's choices and how this will impact her plans to cut back at work, from a job which is causing her physical issues on a daily basis (cutting back now no longer possible). However, I think she carries guilt of my sister's childhood experiences and therefore feels like she somewhat 'deserves' all this.

I would like to be able to spend one on one time with her and just not reference my sister's situation however I seem to have a huge mental/emotional block when I attempt it due to my overriding frustration and feelings that in acting as she is she is (deliberately or not) stressing me.

Thanks for your thoughts.