Sister in Law with unhealthy boundaries

Thanks , appreciate it...


Things are coming to a head , it’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow (so everyone’s coming around here).. My wife once again asked me about my daughter having a sleep over with the in-laws .. I said I’m not happy about it , because nothings been resolved / addressed over the past 12 months (I’ve said all along - I think we should all sit down and discuss it/clear the air), my mother in law/ wife decided amongst themselves to avoid this path, I feel they’ve chose to do what’s easiest/ stick their head in the sand and avoid the issue .. My wife said well I’ll tell mum (they’ve gone out shopping today- my daughters still here with me). I said no - I want to be there for the discussion we can both talk to your parents tomorrow ...

I’ve spoken to my parents, the plan is SIL can take my daughter to the shops, my parents are gonna take the dogs for a walk.. It’s bad timing , MIL is dealing with the stress of the move , I’ve arranged to organise everything for tomorrow , so am currently tidying the house and arranging a party , but the opportunity has arisen so I guess I have to take it ..

Keep in mind it’s my wife’s birthday , so there’s every chance it goes badly (and ruins her day).. But hey MIL has chosen the day not me (I’ll be sure to point that out at the start), I mean she’s only chosen the day to take the easy path for herself , I feel she’s using my daughter to help manage SIL’s emotions/ stress of the move (I won’t mention this part) , I feel it’s selfish (doing it on my wife’s birthday), but it is what it is ..

Wish me luck

/r/Parenting Thread Parent