A Snowball's Chance

No I haven't really done anything to socially transition, and I think it's going to be a while before I can. I'm still in high school for now and I live in the bible belt. Its not even just other students that are a problem, half the staff are also bigots. I guess I could start presenting as female at home or around some of my friends though. I'm just so bad at communicating anything to my parents regarding gender. I want to ask them to buy me girls clothes, but I just feel I would rather take hormones and then jbust abruptly go fulltime when I go to college. IDK, I think part of what causes so much of my dysphoria isn't that my body is totally hopeless, but its that to some degree I feel like I'll never be a real woman. Like I know how I feel, but I worry other people won't really see me as a woman even if they use the right pronouns and stuff.

As far as music goes I like a lot of psychedelic rock/metal. Also like reggae wish rock and rap. Some of my favorite bands are Pink Floyd, The Doors, Tool, and Slightly Stoopid.

I've always identified as a lesbian, the first time I heard the term and learned what it meant it really confused me because on some level I felt like it should apply to me, but I didn't know anything about trans people at the time. I'm not in a relationship and honestly I don't feel ready for one. I know a girl that's kinda cute who I think is in to me, cause I've never talked to her before but she says hi to me every time she sees me. I just really don't want to commit to anything when I'm not being perceived as my genuine self. That being said I can also be attracted to men, like I think pretty much all their physical qualities are not my thing except for dick. I don't know why, but that's the only physical characteristics of men I find attractive. I have a pretty big crush on one of my best guy friends, I think with men personality matters more than anything to me. What initially attracted me to this guy was that he didn't act like a cold emotionless rock like our society expects men to be. He's just a kind and joyous person, and he also has a huge dick. XD

/r/MtF Thread