Quick question, have you had more experiences of the former or latter?

Furthermore, in the BDSM community, do most women have more experiences with the former or latter?

Unfortunately it is the former for most, and the kink community does a poor job at self-regulation and instead permits sexual predators to exercise their abusive and sociopathic tendencies with impunity under the guise of "kink".

I'm not a kink shamer. I used the phrasing "much of the BDSM community" intentionally. If you ever attend a munch or spend much time on the BDSM forums, you will recognize their rules are simply writing on paper, and do not reflect the state of the community.

Sadomasochism is considered a mental disorder when it violates those stated tenants, impacts you bodily or mental health negatively, and one remains in the dynamic that is permitting the violation. This is the norm, not the other way around.