Solo poly woman with a strong desire to be someone's primary

Well because I believe that this desire comes from a place of fear, insecurity and lack of self love and I'm working on deconstructing all of these aspects in me.

I also believe that this desire is completely at odds with all my other desires of freedom, independence and self sufficiency.

I am solo poly at the moment by circumstance I would say. And I can only imagine being the primary of one of my lovers, but that's just because there's a ton of history there - he changed my life in many ways and I always "thought" I was his primary despite his marriage to someone else and despite my own relationship to another etc. It's only recently that I realized that it was my own delusion, that I was never a primary for him. So I think this breakdown of a decade long delusion also brings about this desire again - I realized I have never been anyone's primary. It makes me feel sad.

/r/solopolyamory Thread Parent