Solo Traveling gave me a Peter Pan syndrome

Same age as you, also a woman, also single. I love travelling! I'd love it if me and my future husband (yes, because marriage is super important to me) was into it too and was flexible and open to the idea of living elsewhere, or retiring elsewhere, or just doing lots of trips. I've come to learn I definitely would like to just have a home base, which sounds like "settling down", but that means also travelling every year (multiple times a year ideally) from that base. That might mean spending a month every winter elsewhere together and adding a couple of more big trips in, or what ever. I would say I'm not actively avoiding relationships right now, just open to talking to people and seeing if anyone compatible comes up. It's always been something I've looked for, which made it hard to find a partner when I was younger, because I think wanting this is more unconventional especially for the super conservative city I come from.

So the goal is to just meet a likeminded person. One of my best friends and her partner are honestly what I want to emulate. They're both so flexible and open-minded and travel a lot! I'm exposed to different kinds of people thankfully, and I see what I like and don't like. My sister and her husband travel loads and they even have a baby, but they also have a home base, so I know that sort of thing is possible.

What I don't pretend to do, is to care about the same stuff others in my extended social circle care about. While a lot of my friends/acquaintances are big on travel/experiences, I know quite a few people who, for ex, care far more about material things (huge, massively expensive, flashy weddings), doing things "exactly on schedule" and in the picture-perfect-for-social-media way. I know it sounds like I'm looking down on them, and I think in a way I do look down on that sort of value system (even though really, i shouldn't), but maybe it's also because I resent the fact that society at large acts like that's more respectable than doing your thing. I feel like it's so much better when everyone decides what their value system is and goes for that. We're not all meant to fit the same little box.

Btw this might provide some humour/relief but one of my good friends is a bit more like you, and she thinks i'm "so ready to settle down" and then my close family/other people think I'm this huge traveller who's not interested in being in a relationship. The truth is I love travel and I'm also ready to get with my person, it's not so black and white and I find people's perception really depends mainly on their context. I also think you can find both, to some extent, just know where you're willing to compromise on things and where you're not. For ex, I think travelling a lot with a big family is a pretty tough deal and I decided a while ago I wasn't interested in more than 1-2 kids because I don't think it's fair to them nor to myself and future partner to be trying to manage a large family at the same time as having experiences. I also realize I still want to earn more but I won't be doing the traditional career route of being in the office and talking to my employees all the time, that's something I accepted. You gotta know where you're willing to compromise.

/r/solotravel Thread