Some questions about everything ace

1: I wear this (http://i.imgur.com/9kwa4PM.jpg). It’s never clued anyone into my sexuality. Allosexuals who ask about it and get an explanation have never heard about it as a symbol, and I’ve never discussed it with an asexual.

  1. I like wearing it on the off-chance someone does recognize it, but more importantly, because wearing it was kind of a personal affirmation. Forming an asexual identity happened at a rocky point in my life, and the ring helped me to accept what was going on. Close friends have noticed I wear it daily, and I have explained its significance while acquaintances and strangers rarely comment about it. I’m usually of the opinion that anyone asking a direct question about my sexuality (Are you gay?) will get a direct answer. But if someone is just curious about the ring and isn’t necessarily looking for a sexuality discussion, I usually just say that I wear it all the time because it has personal meaning. Most people don't pry past that. Sometimes I say I just like the way it looks if I think it will really be a point of awkwardness.

  2. I don't feel broken, I just feel like I'm on the end of a spectrum. Some of my friends are very sexual and talk about their urges or activities openly. Some are waiting for marriage, some only have sex in monogamous relationships (and aren't in relationships often), and some just do it with less frequency. Of course, I'm also 25, so most of my friends aren't out of their parents' homes for the first time. Not to say that freshmen are necessarily more sexual on average, but that new-found freedom may help influence just how sexual you think your peers are.

  3. When someone wants to do something that you would never want to do, it’s hard to imagine why, to empathize, so we end up feeling a distance. This can be true of things that aren’t sex: believing in god, wanting to try drugs, wanting to have children, getting married, wanting to move go a new city, enjoying the taste of coffee, etc. Remembering that people have different opinions is my advice. Don’t judge others for their opinions or preferences, and try to ensure that they don’t judge you in return.

  4. I have a handful of asexual or similar friends/acquaintances, but I wouldn’t say they think the same as I do, there are just some similarities regarding sexual orientation (it’s not really something you think about, although I suppose you form opinions because of it). For example, I’m very comfortable talking about sex and making dirty jokes, but others aren’t. We’re all fairly different personality wise, and I’ve never had a personal conversation about sexuality with any of them. But I suppose being able to list a real-life person I’ve met is kind of relieving as opposed to just having people from the internet as examples.

  5. The thought itself doesn't scare me. I'm very anxious in serious interpersonal situations (even non-sexual and non-romantic ones) regardless of my orientation though, so I think I'm unlikely to have sex.

/r/asexuality Thread