Is something wrong with me?

Everyone handles things differently. I’ve worked EMS for about ten years now with most of that at ghetto city agencies. I’ve had plenty of bad calls but I was never affected by them. Sure, I’d feel bad for the PT or their friends/family, etc., but I wouldn’t feel the need for any type of intervention or anything.

Over the past year or so that’s been changing and I’m starting to have some issues. I find myself remembering calls and scenes from years past that didn’t bother me at the time but are now really affecting me years later. I’m having trouble sleeping, I feel like I’m angry all the time and have lost patience with not only the PTs, but my partners as well. I feel broken and I’m at the point where I’m likely going to quit by the year’s end.

I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I know many people who’ve been working these same systems longer than I have and who’ve had the same and worse experiences, but they’re 100% fine. Do they have a better way of coping? Or do they have a longer fuse? I don’t know.

I do know that I wish I had talked to someone or dealt with things much earlier.

/r/ems Thread