ETA: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS TO BE POSTED ANYWHERE ELSE!
I (40f), have a 13 year old son. His dad left when he was 1 and it was just me & him until he turned 5 (dad didn’t see him for 6 months at first but then visited him 2 or 3 times a week before having him occasional weekends).
I met my now husband and we had a number of dates before they met. They got on well.
After well over a year of dating, we talked about him moving in with us and included DS and how he’d feel, he was happy for him to move in.
We’ve now been together 7 years, but recently, after an argument between DH & I, DS has decided he no longer likes his SD.
It started with DS telling his dad that he’s scared of SD’s driving (which is nuts because DH is one of the slowest, safest drivers I know), so his dad took over the school runs. DS asked if we could go visit his uncle, I told him we could but how would we get there because he’s scared of DH’s driving. An hour later he asked if we could visit an rescue centre to look at dogs, I gave him the same answer. Well he told his dad on the way to school and I get a “we need to talk” text.
When he dropped him back, he started on at me about how I was punishing DS and that it wasn’t fair on him, I said it wasn’t punishing him, it was pointing out that if he’s scared of DH’s driving, DH isn’t going to drive him anywhere. His dad said “but he’s fine when you’re in the car”, I told him DH doesn’t drive any differently whether I’m in the car or not and his dad said “how do you know, you’re not in the car”, this went round a few times, getting nowhere.
I said to DS once his dad had gone, that his dad didn’t need to know everything that happens in our home - of course, DS told his dad that. This led to another “talk”…
There’s so much that’s happened, I don’t think I’ll have enough text to fit it in but basically his dad took him to “live with him” and after a visit with us, he told me that DS doesn’t want to live with him, he wants to live with me.
Without his stepdad.
And his dad is considering custody (which he would never, ever get for a few reasons.)
I need help, advice and probably a giant cocktail or 10!
You don't deserve any drinks, and I'm here to show you your mistakes last forever online.