I could be off here, but one thing that stood out to me is that you were wanting your partner to ask his friend if some taps were ok and he said "No, he's a plumber, I'm sure they are fine." One thing that I learned in therapy is how distrustful I was of other people's professions. I learned how to trust and let go of control finally after learning how to trust from scratch through my therapist's re-parenting. Before that though, I would question doctors, realtors, designers, anyone, because for some reason I just didn't think they had put the amount of obsessive care and effort that I would, or they just didn't quite deliver what I needed. I see now how absolutely undermining this behavior of mine was, and now I don't blindly trust someone, but after I have "shopped around" and decided to hire someone (like for example my daughter's orthodontist recently), I sign the contract, pay the money and let go of all meddling. IF something comes up, (not a second before), I will call and professionally ask about it. No need to micromanage a professional.

As far as your partner asking you to take on 100% of the burden, that is a little one-sided. I am home doing school online and my partner works 55+ hours a week. I don't mind at all doing most things around the house, it's really small and easy. But, I did ask him to completely manage garbage and recycling, his own dry cleaning, paying his own personal bills, and picking up after himself. If things are picked up, it's easy to dust and vacuum. Oh, he also runs to the store for things on his way home from the office.

Your partner may not be empathizing with the load you are responsible for. You could write out a list of things you are totally responsible for to put it into perspective for him. I did that actually! On top of the house, it's also financial planning, future goals, etc. because I am the "take initiative" type. Some things we have gotten on the same page for, and others, I took over with a "you can't complain if you don't like my decisions" and we agreed on that. If he doesn't want to step up, he doesn't get to complain about the result, and it's only fair.

So I think that maybe, just maybe, I don't know, you could let go of the micromanaging a bit and feel way less stressed, and then re-negotiate with your partner on your responsibilities list. Please consider though, bring this list to him and be kind, loving, and ready to hear him. Just like, "Hey sweetie, I'd love to talk to you about something that is important to me, is now a good time, or after dinner?" And then just say "I FEEL" statements and try to have a good talk. Hold hands, make eye contact, lots of hugs, make it a positive connecting experience if possible. You are NOT fucked up at all! You are just highly sensitive to these things, and you can really make these small changes to relieve yourself of stress I think.