It’s one thing to be happily single. it’s another when you complain on social media about how awful and impossible ALL of the men are. I keep seeing and hearing this. You realize YOU are one men too right? Are you this portrait of perfection you’re seeking? (here’s a mirror – would you date you? seriously…) I can’t help but wonder if you’re not paying attention to great guys who likely notice you and you ignore them or desexualize them or shame them for not having game. I have little sympathy when you post occurrence after occurrence of someone who might’ve been a great first or second date that you shut down because he didn’t put a comma in the right spot or said something that didn’t fit the box you expected to put him into. He must be out of his league. Perhaps he used “you’re” instead of “your” in a reply. God forbid he was typing fast or autocorrect jumped in on his iPad….haha Guess what? It’s not everyone else…it’s you. And I hope the friends cheering on the smug posts in the comments box will be there to share your bed at night…

This world is so full of pretty people…lonely, pretty people who are afraid to make a lasting connection with someone. Or we just sleep with them so we’ve already gotten the milk…no need to keep the cow. We dote on the difficulty of dating when really, we keep overlooking people who could potentially treat us better than we’ve ever known because they aren’t the right height, race, color, size, body type, status….wtf is wrong with us?

The sexy that lasts also surprises…it doesn’t always fit into boxes.

I think of someone I spent time with who treated me better than almost anyone I’ve ever dated. When I first saw him, I wasn’t impressed. He wasn’t unattractive. He just wasn’t my “type”. People in my circle thought he was cute but I didn’t see it. He, however, made his interest known and it knocked me over. Like full blown, old fashioned, courting style..Did he have issues? Sure, everyone does! But after our time together I now remember him as one of the most charming spirits I’ve ever met who (to this day) left his mark on how I should be treated. Now, I’ve messed up and accepted less than that since then…but alas, we learn from our mistakes….right? But if I’d just ignored him or never actually paid attention, I would’ve missed the experience of him. That would’ve been an awful loss.

So, a guy says something that wasn’t the best pickup line…dating can be awkward at first – ESPECIALLY when it’s via social media or dating apps. It’s easy to be so judgmental when our own insecurities are hiding behind an iPhone screen. Cut them a little slack…I mean, unless of course someone is being blatantly disrespectful or rude. Then by all means…go IN. Complaining just too often seems to be the band-aid constantly being refreshed until we actually take a moment to deal with our scars…

I’m too often guilty of this myself and I really have to do better. Masc, Fem, Black, White, Asian, Twink, Muscle, whatever…when you’re being yourself it’s magic. It’s beautiful. Let’s love on each other a little more…