(Spoilers Published) Wittiest character in ASOIAF?

Cortnay fuckin' Penrose

“May the Others bugger your Lord of Light,” Penrose spat back, “and whipe his arse with that rag you bear.”

Morrigen bristled. “Be glad this is a parley, Penrose, or I would have your tongue for those words.”

“And cast it in the same fire where you left your manhood?"—-

He pulled off his glove and flung it full in the king’s face. “Single combat. Sword, lance, or any weapon you care to name. Or if you fear to hazard your magic sword and royal skin against an old man, name yourr champion, and I shall do the same.” He gave Guyard Morrigen and Bryce Caron a scathing look. “Either of these pups would do nicely, I should think.”

The king ground his teeth. “No.” Ser Cortnay did not seem surprised. “Is it the justice of your cause that you doubt, my lord, or the strength of your arm? Are you afraid I’ll piss on your burning sword and put it out?”

The king pointed a finger at him. “I give you fair warning. If you force me to take my castle by storm, you may expect no mercy. I will hang you for traitors, everyone of you.”

¦“As the gods will it. Bring your storm, my lord - and recall, if you do, the name of this castle.”  Ser Cortnay gave a pull on his reins and rode back toward the gate

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