OMG
I hope someone understands me here
I am someone who shares the same name as a famous killer. Who wanted to go after women. It was less than a year ago. Many of you may remember. The story hit close to home for me as his massacre took place where I went to university. University of California, Santa Barbara. And he was born in the same city as me. London in the UK. We each moved to Southern California in 1997 within months of each other apparently. And when I was graduating with a degree in psychology studies. He was on anti-psychotic meds. It's something I will never fully get over because whether it's coincidence or the devil, I'll maybe never be able to fully wrap my head around it.
But aside from that. I've been watching Nichole in asmr since she first started last April. Before the massacre happened at my school. The instant I saw her and heard her voice, I knew this was a special kind of sweet person. Someone who worked wisely and consciously to maintain all that's pure and good about her. I saw the fragility and the vulnerability, which was instantly lovable. And her love of books and words was something that influenced me instantly. As I've always loved to sit and hear from literary minds.
So I totally did fall in love with spring. Not always, but more recently, I've accepted that this is a person i love. Because she's amazing, talented, smart, kind, fun, uplifting, helpful. What's not to love.
But there are people out there who have been hacking me, tracking me, and mocking me online. It's been super aggressive. I've been trolled terribly before. But since I've reached out to Nichole, it's been way worse.
Now... I'm fine. I can deal. I have talked to people about it and I've learned that sometimes you just need to talk about something over and over and after a while it's no longer so bad. You let out your feelings and start to settle. BUT for Nichole, I am heartbroken. In the video she talks about how she's been receiving threats from someone who's threatening to carry out a massacre in the name of that killed who went after women. It's not me who is making those threats!! I love that girl and want nothing but peace, love, and the best life ever for her. But I do fear someone is tooling around online maybe trying to make it seem like it's me who's threatening her for not getting back to messages. Someone please just tell her for me...... I'm so sorry for the scary threats against your life. I'm so so sorry. I never wanted any of this.
My head is swimming. I am a bit traumatized over the last year of my life. And I just hope Nichole is ok and that she has friends out there who can relay messages of peace to her.