From what I understand, bipolar is first and foremost a disruption of circadian rhythm. Fixing that is absolutely imperative. Getting up with the day and sleeping at night orders so many elements of chaos in your life.

It’s secondly mostly a physiological illness. Negative thinking is incredibly difficult to get out of, but is only exacerbated by physiological imbalances. I recommend adjusting for what your body lacks. This almost always comes down to exercise and diet. Start by just walking, even if it means around your house or even your room. Diet takes time but I’d start by adding ginger and turmeric and cruciferous vegetables. Avoid sugar and alcohol or drugs that may conflict with medication at all costs.

Lastly, neurotypical is a bizarre term to compare yourself to. Disorders are diagnosed by symptoms that adhere to a pattern. That pattern is categorized only to distinguish it from obviously contradictory symptoms. It serves an individual no purpose to dwell on it. Especially when, as stated above, the fixes to the situation seem to be generating a generally healthier life.

You are an individual which by definition is an exception to the rule of typical. A typical individual is an oxymoron.