Dude get a grip. This stuff is hard.
Try Harder
Force Yourself To Learn.
Abandon all your friends and spend your free time learning.
Exercise daily for at least 1 hour.
Eat Healthy because your brain will thank you for it plus less healthcare expenses.
Google Remnote for studying application that will make you a genius like me.
Don't purchase an expensive house or car. Purchase a very cheap house and car and pay it off as soon as possible so you are not a slave to the dollar.
You need to learn mathematics so when your ready complete the entire calcworkshop curriculum which is basically: Algebra, Geometry, Precalculus, Calculus 1, Calculus 2, Calculus 3, Probability and Statistics, Discrete Math, Linear Algebra and Differential Equations.
Then learn classical physics 1 and 2 from textbooks.
Then complete the entire TryHackMe curriculum.
Then grab a Python textbook and learn how to code in Python.
Then learn C, Java, HTML, CSS, and JavaScript.