Starting to feel like Wife’s babysitter and not so much a husband

I thought it was only me that felt this way. She even feels this way. We got into a heated convo because I brought up wanting to do more as a family. She tells me she feels mom guilt when she goes out and that I validated that feeling when I told her we don’t spend enough time together.

I 100% fully understand going out with the girls or guys for some decompression or “me/you” time. Totally justified if it’s one, couple times a month. But it’s literally been once every weekend for about 2 months now. She introduced a solo friend to her old group of friends and now all they want to do is go out and have fun. So she feels obligated to go.

I’d love to do more as a family or take even day roadtrips. But again, it’s not happening unless I plan it. I can only bring it up so many times and I hate reminded her what I want to do. She usually makes plans without me in mind. I find out the hard way. For example, last night actually, she asked if we have plans tomorrow. I said no but I kind want to go to breakfast because we don’t have anymore eggs. And she tells me that with the friend she went out with last night, they are going to a spin class at 10am or so. So this is something that happens weekly. I don’t even plan anymore because I assume she’s just booked. It’s frustrating.

I know the example I used is small and to some, easy to disregard. But this is just a small picture I’m painting for the actual and much bigger one.

During the week… we don’t do much. She’ll come home from the gym and work around 7pm and she’s usually tired. Or she’ll just scroll endlessly on her phone until I ask her something.

If and when we communicate, she becomes hostile and assumes I just don’t like when she goes with friends. She then just says something ridiculous like she’s just never gonna go out with them again.

/r/marriageadvice Thread