Wherever you go there you are.

See a psychiatrist and get on meds? You have CPTSD and are extremely unhappy and it’s really not fair to judge everyone else living their best lives when you came from a place of privilege and planted your curmudgeonly self into their community. You’re in your own head too much and self absorbed. Your experiences may have been shit, but so have a lot of other peoples. Have you ever considered how your being there impacts them negatively while you’re shitting on them?

Get on meds, try daily gratitude practice, do therapy, do physical activity daily, find a hobby, interact more with people, build community, and actually learn the language. Moving somewhere and not learning the language is a choice and isolates you.

Try the CPTSD workbook and read from Surviving to Thriving. Try shrooms. Try EMDR. Accept the world for what it is. Do the opposite of whatever you’re doing now. When you want to complain make yourself busy with something else and connect to other humans as much as possible.