I refuse to be cynical and hold my first two wives failings against any possible future wife.

I wouldn't want to be judged by the actions of others either.

I saw the warning signs in both my wives. I thought if I loved them enough they would love me the way I needed to be loved. You can't fix anyone and there is nothing you can do to "make" someone love you. It comes from within them or it doesn't.

So when I find a special lady that is willing to give me the love and acceptance I need, I will see if in my heart I'm willing to take that leap of faith again. It will be hard and scary but life is about taking risks, and if I'm not risking for the greatest reward in my opinion (being loved by someone completely) then why bother living?

My sole desire in life is to be loved. Everything else is far down the scale of needs and wants. It's why my marriage falling apart almost completely destroyed me. But it wasn't built on a healthy foundation.

The next will be or I'll die trying to find it. Love is too wonderful to forego out of fear or anxiety about another failure.

I've seen too many wonderful relationships end in the passing of an old loved one. I want that for myself. My spouse to mourn my passing, or me to mourn hers knowing we loved to the grave.