Smith projected optimism to his co-founders and 10 employees, but his nerves were shot. 

I guess I've been bottling and need a space place to mentally vomit.

I had one failed startup from back in 2017 and started another one. While I front loaded the customer discovery last year, I also changed my career from accounting to product manager--quite opposite of what I was doing before.

I'm managing a new career, 4 hr daily commute, and a startup. It's my own fault. I could find a place to rent that's closer to work, but that would mean not being with my family on week nights. I'm conservative with cash, but I'm not sure the cash savings is worth the stress anymore.

I find myself being described by co-workers as positive, enthusiastic, genuine, and willing to roll up my sleeves, despite how I feel inside. I've been here before and it's a slippery slope--trying to keep up with expectations.

I realize that small things have a larger impact on me. Simple follow up emails now make me cringe.

For our current startup, I'm the PM and my husband is doing the engineering role. It's comforting, but I wish we had more personal time together.

Turning a new decade makes me feel that time is slipping through my fingers and it makes me work harder. Why? Because I realize my time is limited and I want to be able to make a difference in our world and set my future family up with financial stability.

I'm feeling burnout, but I keep telling myself that I just have to keep going.

I found the AI app, Youper, for mental health and I helped a lot back Dec/January when my anxiety was high. I may pick it up again feeling the gravity of my struggle.

Toilet flush.