I am currently dating a man recently divorced from a strikingly similar situation. He is a wonderful, kind, smart man who slowly fell into the trap of a marriage completely controlled by his ex. She gave him shit for buying small things for himself with his own, hard earned money that was supporting her fully through school, pushed him into job promotions and a house he didn't want, etc.. They similarly had little in common and most of her time at home was spent in front of crap TV. I say this not to tell you what to do or that you're certain to meet someone better out there, but because what really struck me about his situation was how normal he thought that all was when he was married. Sadly it may be normal, in a statistical sense, for men (and women in analogous ways) to feel like they are supposed to accept a whole lot of crap under the label of "making it work" because they're supposed to be married and certainly not supposed to look to divorce. I can understand putting more time in to trying to save a marriage when kids are involved, but in your case it sounds like you just want you both to be happy and can see that happening apart. I hope that will at least allow you to take time and focus on you, selfishly, and find out what would make you happy because that has a very good chance of making her happy too, no matter the decisions of what to do, in the long run. As others have said, I hope you continue to seek counseling, first and foremost about the suicidal thoughts. There is still beauty in the world and speaking as someone who has been down in that dark, lonely pit before, I'll tell you when you find your way out the beauty is even more beautiful than it was before. Please be kind to yourself and help yourself find it again and live the life you deserve. If you're into podcasts at all, The One You Feed is a favorite of mine for interesting and helpful discussions on mindfulness and productive ways of thinking. Best wishes.