It is possible to connect with someone on that level you’re dreaming of, as I’ve actually had it myself at least once and a few times if you include potential people that I haven’t actually dated. If I were you I would go out and about in places that you are likely to meet people similar to yourself. For me, I met them in college because I’m in a degree I am passionate about and in an Ivy-league equivalent university (I’m not in the USA) A lot of women have their “safe” guy then leave them behind if they do meet “the one”. But even if you do, there’s no guarantee that it’ll turn into a lasting relationship. I know what I’m saying makes me sound like an awful person and I‘m not encouraging you to cheat - it’s just keeping your eyes open rather than going “I’m in a relationship, I’m off the market” but it is an option to hedge your bets while trying to get something you want, which is a perfectly natural desire - something all of us long for.