I feel you. It's rough. My mother was on a serious binge and asked me about finding some benzos. Said she'd throw me a few, or a few bucks, or something. Put her in touch with someone. Advised to not mix with booze, but I knew they were going to. Things compounded and she died a few days later. Obviously she made the decision to binge drink, to mix sedatives with it, etc... but still. I always think back on how happy I was to point her in the right direction just to line my pocket with enough for a sack of weed. However in my case I can honestly shrug a lot of it on to her. I can't imagine how you feel knowing things are a direct result of the pressure/banter... but I really hope you can find peace about it someday. No way you could have foresaw that.