I hope you don't mind my contacting you like this... I found your comments at r/rapecounseling/comments/43yai2/i_still_find_my_rapist_sexually_attractive_is/.

I suffer from trauma bonding... I glanced over the book, The Betrayal Bond last Friday, and now feel a strong will within myself: a will to stop denying and face reality and truth. And then, I started feeling something like a psychosomatic disease. Specifically, it is a severe stomachache.

Your comments in other threads tell me that you also have DID. And I hope you might have some insights about my stomachache. It is like I have an authority figure within myself and whenever I try to be independent or do good things for myself, he gets dreadfully mad at me and gives me severe pains such as a stomachache. The severe stomachache has been with me since Friday and it has not ended...I am in pain... There is another personality within myself who is a child and she does not like my destroying her fantasy world where she has never experienced the abuses as opposed to reality. When I talked about the sexual assaults to some people about a year ago, she got very furious at me and gave me a severe headache after I got home from the place where I talked about the sexual assaults. Talking about what happened to other people means an intervention in and destruction of her own world and she hates my doing this.

I can't have therapy due to financial hardship, and need to cope with all the symptoms on my own... I have never interacted with you in any thread of Reddit and I am crossing over appropriate social boundaries, but hope to hear your opinions about what I can do about psychosomatic attacks from my alters.