Actually I kind of want to address some of your points about Stoicism because you're really missing the mark with most of your statements.

As far as your comments about me personally, you're also off the mark but we can talk about that privately if you wish. I have an interesting story that lead me to this philosophy if you're interested. If not that's ok too.

But there is a reason things like cognitive behavioral therapy and AA are rooted in Stoicism.

You are correct in that Stoics want you to feel your emotions. But you are incorrect about the rest. Here's kind of the readers digest version of how I understand it.

The Stoics taught that Virtue is the highest good. Those virtues being wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice. That everything we face in life is an opportunity to respond with Virtue. Virtue can be a post on its own, but it is certainly not fatalistic. Nor does it teach us to just be passengers on this ride we call life.

Certainly the Stoic Virtue of courage should tell you that Stoicism is action. Epictetus taught that if nothing else, two words should be memorized. Persist and resist.

Reason and Virtue helps us regulate our response to emotions. There is a space between stimulus and response. The Stoic Virtue wisdom helps us identify that space. That space is the place we process our emotions and measure our responses to that stimulus.

We use logic to process those emotions and use Virtue as our guide to help us decide our response. Wisdom/logic helps us identify things within our control, things not within our control, and things slightly within our control.

We act on the things we can control, and the things slightly within our control. We don't disregard the things outside of our control. We just accept them for what they are.

You are correct, and maybe my brevity didn't tell the whole story. Words have the power to incite an emotional response. That initial response might be anger, and that emotion is valid. I Though if we're not careful our response to that emotion can be destructive.

I think we can both agree that getting into a fight, either verbal or physical, has negative consequences. Physical harm, jail, or even death. Something a wise person wants to avoid.

Simply put, when faced with words that incite negative emotions we need to use the space between stimulus and response to choose how we respond to those words. We use Virtue to guide those responses. So wisdom tells me if someone says hurtful things to me that I should evaluate how and why I feel the way I do and then choose an appropriate response based on the circumstances.

So a stranger saying hurtful things will get a vastly different response than friends or family. Did that clarify things at all?