My own story.

Last night, NYE, I was at a student house party with several friends and +1s. At about 2am, I decided I was pretty tired, and went to my previously bagsied bed (some of my friends are in their hometowns for Christmas/NY, so we divied up beds for guests beforehand.)

When I walked into my mate's bedroom, my selected bed was occupied by a girl I quickly realised was my friend's girlfriend, who had passed out because vodka.

I went back into the lounge, my friend said 'Oh yeah, forgot to say, my girlfriend's using the bed.' I said 'No worries, I'll grab the couch in a bit.' He, however, insisted that I just sleep in the bed next to her. I declined repeatedly, but he was adamant that it was alright.

Being the upstanding gentleman that I am, I got a sleeping bag, put the pillows at the opposite end of the bed, and tried to get some sleep.

I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. I dreaded the innevitable moment when she would wake up, and find that she was sharing a bed - albeit in the opposite orientation - with a guy she had only met a few times.

Worse still, I was worried she would mistake me for her boyfriend, and then who knows what could have happened before I woke up or she realised.

Also, she snored like a wildebeest with a bassoon in each nostril. I have never shared a bed with someone who snores, so that was a new and unpleasant experience for me.

The worst part was when I accidentally kicked her in the head while repositioning. I don't mean a tap, I mean a full on hoof to the cranium. She didn't wake up, which is neither a good nor bad thing, I suppose.

The music was far too loud for me to get any sleep, and after about an hour of trying to sleep on the tiny sliver of bed left to me, I fell off, and went back into the lounge. I went back in a few hours later to get even a few minutes shuteye before our breakfast outing, but the problems persisted.

I once slept in the back of my pickup, under the stars, with no covering or sheets, in rural South Africa, and that was a better night's sleep than last fucking night.