[Stories] What's your best "I've messed with the wrong person" moment?

Back in the 90's, my ex-boss (who's still a good friend) used to tell me these rather vague stories about his past and his being something of a bad ass. He never really admitted to much, but left the idea that he'd seen some shit and had dealt his fair share too. You definitely wouldn't have guessed it looking at him. Glasses, a paunch, and pretty laid back. I tended to take his tales with a grain of salt.

One afternoon we knock off work early and head to a movie that's playing at a theatre in a busy, open air commercial area. It's a nice sunny day and the thoroughfare is full of pedestrians. About a half block ahead of us, I see this tall, punkish type and it's obvious he's at least a little drunk and deliberately doing that 'get the fuck out of my way' walk that assholes and drunks like to do. He brushes/walks into people and just kind of sneers at them as they continue on. At least a half dozen other people seem to be aware of what's he's doing and are eyeing this guy as he's doing his douche walk. I can see that my buddy and this guy are lining up just about perfectly and sure enough, Mr Spiky-haired punk asshole slams into my boss, half spinning him around.

The guy turns to my boss, shoots him that sneer and says, "What the fuck's your problem, man?" As my boss stands his ground and begins to say something, Mr Punk starts to take off his leather jacket and says, "OK fucker... you wanna go?"

There's a dozen or so people who see this split-second interaction along with me and I think it's fair to say that in that very brief moment, before anyone can think of what to do, everybody's feeling a kind of dread at the ass-kicking about to be laid on my boss; the overweight guy with a sizeable paunch and glasses.

And then, quick as lightning, my boss reaches in and grabs the guy by his mohawk and violently pulls his head forward, causing Mr Punk to topple to the ground. In the next second, my boss is on top of this guy, with his knee buried in his neck and his right armed primed to bury his fist into the guys face. Never have I witnessed so many expressions of shock mixed with pleasant surprise; everybody watching was just stood their with their mouths open. (Like I was.)

My boss says, "Had enough?" as the guy just stares up at him, astonished at ending up on his ass with 250 pounds of calm, deliberate fury sitting on his chest. Boss guy lets him up and Mr Punk grabs his leather jacket and starts to put it on before turning and yelling, "I'll see you tomorrow at <some place> at <some time>, you fuck!" Then he turns around and meekly starts walking down the bouelvard.

Boss says loudly to the guys back, "Yeah - whatever asshole.", then turns to me and calmly says, "Come on <my name>, let's go."

And that was the day I thought to myself - "Jeez - I guess I don't ever want to piss off <bosses name>"


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