A Story About What it Feels Like to Grow Old

The weird thing is that this article and the comment's aren't even making me think about my own age. I keep thinking about what life will be like when my mother's not around anymore. I'm 30 and she's in her 50's now. She already has a ton of health problem's and was recently diagnosed with MS. Unfortunately, she's not very healthy. People talk like everyone is going to live into their 80's but I know that death's due to old age can start as soon as someone's in their 60's. With her health, it worries me that I might only have a good 10 to 15 years or so left to spend time with her.

I'm single, I have no kids. I might never have kids. Which means she may never be a grandmother. I've struggled holding down jobs in recent years. She may never get to see me be successful. With her recently diagnosed MS she's been very depressed lately, so much so that I've been feeling a little depressed because in all my years I've never seen her so depressed. I hope she doesn't spend her final years feeling depressed also.

All I can really do is spend as much time with her now as I can and hope she lives into her 80s. Just sucks to think that one day the woman who has been the most important person in my life since I was born will one day no longer be there. And considering my past with relationships and friendships... I'll probably be alone when that happens. No children, no wife, no close friends, no work that makes me happy, just me. Living from day to day waiting until I one day face the same inevitable fate. And my death will probably be more depressing then hers.

Fuck this shit is depressing. I need to stop reading the depressing shit on reddit!

/r/TrueReddit Thread Link - medium.com