This happened over the summer, but having since deleted the app I still want to share. To preface, one of my photos is me and two buddies playing pond hockey, and chicks love hockey up here.
I matched with a girl who was really cute, small blonde with a mischievous smile and that's just my type. She messages me first, asking me when we're playing hockey together. I joked back that I'd wreck her on the ice and cue an aggressively playful back and forth of messages until we decided to meet up for tacos later in the week. She's a bit younger than me (she's 21, I'm 25 at the time) but she seemed to be on the same page. I'm waiting for her at the bar and thinking, "this isn't gonna happen it was probably some troll with pics of a cute girl" and in walks this little blonde. WAY cuter in real life, and I was immediately into it. She smiled at me and we sat down for dinner.
At dinner we're both slamming drinks and ordering plate after plate of delicious tacos, both of us staring at each others eyes with that sorta hungry "fuck you so hard later" look. We moved to a bar next door and proceeded to drink more and make out at this nearly empty bar while the bartender tells us how cute we are together. I brushed it off but the girl was into it. She then gets a bit weird and starts asking strange questions like "are you seeing anyone else?" and "are you gonna just never talk to me again after tonight?" and all the typical clingy type shit that's supposed to make you run the other way.
But I'm three sheets to the wind, she's super cute and I hadn't been laid in a while. We decide to go back to her place since it's closer and cough I live with my mom cough but on the cab ride home she starts getting sleepy and dozing off. Not a big problem, I thought, she'll just take a quick nap and wake up when things heat up. Well, I was wrong. Not only did she wake up but she proceeded to start puking. Everywhere. I yelled at the cab to pull over and took her outside while she's just spewing tacos, margaritas, and beer all over the place. Rookie mistake. I should've known this would've happened since I'm 6'2" and 220 and she was definitely half that size, if that, and we drank nearly the same amount lol. Anyway, now I'm feeling awful because this poor girl is sick, and not in the state of mind to get home alone.
So I sat her at a stoop, brought her some water and little crackers and we just sat there for a bit to wait it out. When she felt better, I put her in a cab. Now NORMALLY any sane person would just call it a night and go home, but she insisted I help her get home because she's still "so drunk". I figured why not, I'm already in this deep at least make sure the girl gets home safe. We got to her place, and both just passed out in her bed. So, early in the morning she wakes me up with some fresh minty kisses (she brushed her teeth) and a glass of water. Cuddles up to me and says how sweet I am for taking care of her and getting her home and that she wants to show her gratitude. Anyway, we proceeded to fuck the hangover out and it was pretty great. She walked me to the train and bought me breakfast. Upon saying our goodbyes, she kissed me and asked me to text her when I get home (was going to work, but whatever). I figured she was really into me, and for some reason I was pretty into her still even after she gave me a Mexican shoe shine with her taco vomit.
I texted her a while later and haven't heard from her since.
TL;DR - girl drinks too much, pukes on my shoes, but still takes me home only to one-morning stand me after