When you’re a young kid just starting to have crushes, it feels like everyone’s in the same boat of being scared. But once one of your friends gets a boyfriend or girlfriend, and then it seems that everyone else has one, then you start to feel terrible because you feel like you are actively not good enough or ugly or unlovable because otherwise you’d be “normal”. Even though you’re in the same boat and you might not even like anyone, the external standards cause pressure and emotions.

I think this happens the same way. You’d prefer that the whole system of getting hit on wasn’t the way it was, but since it is the way it is and you can’t control it, it not happening means more than it just not happening. It means the system exists but you’re flawed.

Like I’d much rather live a simple life in the woods and barter for goods, but since I live in a city and have to make and spend money, I’d rather have more of it than less because that at least avoids some problems (worrying over bills, or worrying you’ll be alone forever.)