A stripper attempting to get sober (again -_-)

You've taken the first step. The next one will be tomorrow, and I'll stay sober with you. One day at a time. We have to walk before we run, and sure we may trip, stumnle, and fall, but we have to get back up and keep moving in the right direction.

It sounds like you have a fantastic boyfriend who will help you through this, but you have to be open about it and communicate with him. Let him know you want to stop. Let your therapist know you want to stop. Hold yourself accountable and stop in here for those little reminders on why it's such a good idea to be sober.

I'm a recovering alcoholic (and believe me I never thought I'd say those words) and my journey has not been easy. I come from a broken home (my pops "went for cigarettes" I was 7). Both of my parents are hardcore alcoholics, so to me, drinking was just a part of life. Then I joined the military, where drinking is, well... some people refer to it as the place that either teaches you to drink or kills you while trying to. And now I work in a sales office straight out of the 80's, where when you hit your numbers, they wheel in a cooler that's been freshly stocked, you grab a drink and you go putt for cash down a corridor, or have office chair "rowing" competitions (4 people/chairs facing backwards linked like a train racing down the hallways) ... all of these activities and my entire life outside of them revolved around drinking. Golfing and drinking, bowling and drinking, grilling/yard work and drinking, dancing and drinking, friends and you guessed it drinking. You get the idea. I hadn't done a single activity for 12 years(I'm 28 now) that didn't involve drinking. At my worst I was a fifth a whiskey a night drinking. Before getting sober, it was 6-12 beers or about half of a 1.75liter bottle of vodka split with my fiancee a night.

Now, the hardest part of being sober, is not knowing who I am as an individual. Everything I used to enjoy was wrapped up in drinking. So I'm rediscovering and discovering passions. And for me that's difficult because I don't know where to start, I'm terrified of failure, and I'm scared to invest in something I might not enjoy... but, I'd rather be learning about myself, than drinking to forget. Forget what a shitty person I was for drinking. Forget about my nightmarish deployment. Forget about the abuse, the pain, the anger.

But you don't forget those things, and if you drink to forget then you allow those things to fester insted of heal. And when they fester it only compounds those things that you think drinking helps... Like my crippling anxiety and depression.

Long story short, and sorry for the wall of text, I'm happy to be scared of the unknown. I'm happy to be sober. And I'm happy that I finally feel a little bit healthier. And you will be too. One step, one day at a time. I will not drink with you today. We all have our problems, but together we can overcome them.

One of my favorite quotes, and I think it was from a redditor: "Getting drunk is like borrowing happiness from tomorrow." You pay for all that "fun" you can't even remember by being hungover and feeling like shit and just needing that hair of the dog to get back at it... then the cycle starts again and you're constantly borrowing. Borrowing time you can't afford. That's no way to live in my opinion. And this subreddit, this community, and my fiancée have been my saving grace.

I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up, and remember, you're not alone no matter how often you feel that way. We're right here, and I'm sure your boyfriend will be there too.

/r/stopdrinking Thread