UPDATE 2
I called my wonderful MIL about last night's events. She was at work and said she needed time to process it all. She wrote me this email back:
L;
I am sending this email because it is quicker for me while here at work.
I am concerned for S. Although I know he is only human and is very strong I am still concerned for him.
I think for now it best perhaps if you let the situation with G lie …. As I said in my text this morning I don’t feel letting [nsmil] and her sick daughter/partner in crime know you are upset will only make them happy. To let them think we have even given either one of them a moment’s thought is too much attention. My mother thinks T wakes up every morning wondering what type of havoc she can cause. We think T and or [nsmil] will continue until they force me to react which is what they want but they are not going to get it. I don’t want either one of them to think they are that important. I think for now we have to let G figure out how he is going to remedy this. We must allow [nsmil] to continue to rot from the inside and permit guilt and karma to do their job. We must allow their marriage to continue to crumble. I cannot get involved because it only adds salt to the wound. It would thrill these woman for me to get involved and probably what they want. I don’t defend myself well and I don’t react well when I am put in a confrontation with this kind of thing. My emotions get the best of me. My frustration gets the best of me. I react by crying and physically shaking. I can’t and don’t and won’t say what needs to be said. My silence IS the best medicine, at least for now. If and when I feel it is detrimental I speak directly with G I will contact him without fear of the wrath he will suffer as a result.
I, my mother and [her best friend] feel it is going to get worse and therefore you and S need to stay strong.
My mother and I haven’t told my father about the most of this, he knows only a little. It would upset him greatly. My mother is very, very angry and disappointed with G. She and my father lost their respect for him many years ago. My mother feels It is unfortunate and sad [S's brother aka GC] and S cannot discuss this. We feel [GC] could be a big help to his brother but we also feel bring [GC] into the picture can and will also make matters worse since he is so manipulated and fooled by [nsmil] and G. We don’t feel bringing [GC and his wife] into the mess will help matters. We don’t need a pissing match with [GC] over his father. [GC] has is own issues with his father and obviously he has “learned” to deal with those issues by wearing rose colored glasses and occasionally blinders. I don’t want this to come between my sons, two brothers yet I know it has already, to a degree. My Mother will speak to my father soon and let him know all that is going on. She doesn’t want G to stop by and discuss it because my father would then side with G, as a father. Once my father knows everything he will know what to say to G if and when the occasion presents itself. My mother and I feel my father would be a help, some support for and to S but my Mother has to explain it all to him first and since it is so complicated and so many things have happened she has to figure out how and when to go about it. My father gets confused easily and doesn’t hear well so you know the difficulties she has to deal with.
I want you and S for now to find a way to accept this, to accept you cannot change it and move forward it. I know it isn’t fair and it is not right but for your sanity and your marriage try your best to take my advice. [nsmil] will continue to dig her own grave. We know she is in a downward spiral so lets sit back and let her drown, on her own. Skyler may need to seek counseling, L and/or the two of you may need to go just so you can learn how to deal with the heartache and the injustice. S has done nothing wrong and he needs to keep remembering that. I am not standing up for G but you and I know it must complete hell in his house. There is no telling what he faces every evening when he arrives home. I know [nsmil] is half owner and vice president of the a/c company. G is probably trying to figure out what is going to happen with his business. He may be trying to dodge the horrible things she is going to or has inflicted upon him. He must have some idea of what his wife and daughter are capable of.
Well I’ve got to get back to work. Please, hon. In as much as I know sending that text to [nsmil] will make you feel better in the long run it will back fire. Besides, staying quiet is not what she wants nor is it what she expects. Not reacting will only make her do something else utterly stupid. She is going to crumble, give her time. For now chant the AA mantra if you have to, accept the things you cannot change……you don’t know how badly I want to hog tie [nsmil] to a chair, gag her with a cloth soaked in bleach taped over her mouth with DUCT TAPE from her husband’s a/c business and force her to listen to G, S, you, me, my parents, my brothers and their wives and professionals. I want nothing more than [nsmil] having a “Scrooge” moment with a ghost from her present to show her the evil doings of her life and where she is headed. Don’t let [nsmil] win, L or T for that matter.
Love, Mother Teresa