Thanks for the replies, everyone. Read them, just been too drained to reply. I think the root cause is multi- faceted.

• Sex/sleep overs in my private life (same person since July) have made it more difficult for me to fuck strangers. I wish I could be exclusive to who I've been sleeping with but that would make no sense bc my bills need to be paid and on FWB's (friend with benefits) side, I don't know that my retiring would make our relationship more exclusive at all (on his end).

<p>But it's my natural primal response to only give it up to the one I am enjoying, apparently. It has given me an appetite for what could be, reminded me what I've had in the past, and want again. I am always happy when staying over at his place, he commented on it last time, that I looked happy and he liked that. I left feeling deeply satisfied. Unfortunately, the pesky concept of bills and finances.